Update #12: The Way It Is

Dear Reader,

It is my hope that this message finds you doing well, and feeling able to imagine how sincerely I mean that. I am not sure I could mean it more, to be frank. For reasons I will unfold within the contents of this message, I have recently been reminded of just how precious every moment we have together on this planet is. Not just because of that, I send you my warmest greetings.
Being that I have the luxury of time, I thought I would ask you to take a moment and consider where you are and what you’re doing right now. How are you? How are you feeling? This really would be a good opportunity, Reader, to look away from the screen, take a deep breath, and be honest.
Actually, I will answer those questions I have asked you for myself here on this page: I am relieved, firstly, that I finally have a chance to sit and reflect on all that has happened in the last month. Secondly, I feel small. Small in the sense that I am aware that there are things in this life much larger than I can imagine, more complex than I can solve – and how at times the knowledge that I am not in control of anything beyond myself is liberating, a release. I admit that at times, we just have to sit down, write it down, and magically the universe seems to conspire to start playing that classic Lucky Dube song I like so much. (Prisoner, great song!)
I also feel, and strongly, that to wait another minute to treat myself to that square of 72% cocoa dark chocolate that arrived recently from my handsome, witty, and beautiful family would be at best unjust. (I promised myself hours ago)
[Did I mention that my family is a family of truly inspired individuals? Real genuine loving people? Amazing examples of human generosity? Stunning leadership and admirable affection? Paragons of virtue and humility?]
Anyways, I think it’s about time that I told just what is going on with me here in
Mozambique. Believe it or not (I dare you), in just four days I will be marking off my third month living “at site”, and approaching my sixth month in this amazing country. I am going to refrain from making sweeping generalizations about life here, I think, and focus on telling you just what I am doing, thinking, feeling, and subsequently doing about those first three.
February was a challenging month. I wonder now if that’s why of all the months it’s the one with fewer days… a few more days of that month would perhaps have been problematic for me (not to mention the Roman Calendar). Not to say it was a bad month, because I’ve already said that I wasn’t going to be making any sweeping generalizations, but I will admit that I have been tested. [the optimist in me is saying “but without getting tested, how will you know the results?” and the realist is saying “just write what happened and look for silver lining at the end of the email, because that’s a much better place to sum things up - having learned important lessons and being ready to move forward”]
Right. Well whether I like it or not, I am thinking that diving head-first into some of the events that have shaped this past month seems to be the most effective way of giving you an overall idea of what has been going on. Good and bad alike, here goes:
· I officially moved into my house. It was a relief to have room to move (pun intended) and it was enjoyable experiencing the simple pleasure of having no idea what to fill it with and being shocked at the realization that I really was starting from scratch. [As I write there is one chair in this sizeable house, and I have borrowed it from work. Why do I get satisfaction from that? There is something wrong with me.] With some thrifty budgeting I have managed to get some carpenters working on basic furniture, and now even have a compost bin!
· A dear friend of my parents, and someone who had become a family friend over many years died suddenly. An internet blog is not the place for anything more than my saying that his passing has filled me with grief and renewed reverence for the absurd nature of human life. I am thinking about him daily.
· Unfortunately, the same evening I was to hear about this above loss, I also learned that a very old friend of mine also lost someone.
· I got to participate in a planning meeting with the Department of Agriculture (where I am working), in which I found out that the new Director is including in his proposal a training for all Agricultural Extension workers in the area of HIV and AIDS… which is phenomenal due to the wide reach of the extensionists into the farming communities. It makes me feel like issues I am trying to keep on the table are indeed being considered.
· I had a chance to call my brother and sister-in-law in Peru. Hearing their voices briefly was uplifting, and reminded me of just why I wanted to commit my time, energy, and soul to this experience. I couldn’t be more proud of them. Their blog, is you want to compare Volunteer experiences, is http://theadventuresofbenjaminandlibby.blogspot.com/ . They have photos, whereas I have been unsuccessful at uploading from Internet cafés here.
· I was in Chimoio for another meeting, which was quite interesting and helpful to me in learning more about just how we can better run this program and how we can successfully let it grow. [Not to mention the fact that it also meant eating cheese, which we do not have where I am living – for lack of electricity and refrigeration… hey, simple pleasures right?!]
· I received an unbelievable gift from my family (per chocolate high earlier in this message), and the videos of my niece in particular made me a prouder uncle still, though many thought it was impossible.
· I met some local musicians! I have practiced with them a number of times… and here is the best part: not only is there a functioning keyboard in my community, but a drumset as well!!! This familiar and newfound source of joy and expression for me could not have been more needed and found at a better time. I am busy a few nights a week when I have the time learning new music, smiling broadly, and teaching a few things about music that I know and can barely grind into Portuguese.
· A cyclone hit the coast of Mozambique at a category 4 strength. That, I have learned, is more or less equal to the strength of our own Hurricane Katrina. It devastated many communities, and for the first time I can begin to imagine what that really means for the people there. It was quite far from where I live that this all took place.
· The region where I am living was hit hard by flooding in the Zambezi river valley. This was perhaps the backdrop of my month, the theater set within which all other events entered and exited. Many thousands of people were forced to leave their homes and watch their fields quickly get destroyed. I had a chance to ride my bicycle to a resettling camp, and was confronted with just what it means when people with severely limited resources and choices are victims of a flood (or other disaster). I have never before understood just what exactly it means, and now I have the image of that reality in my memory forever. Where I am living was unaffected by the flood waters.

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I am not sure, Reader, if it was my original intention to unload a laundry list of
my experiences over the last month in this message, but in a way I am glad to have it all out there for your consideration. I am having to spend time of late making sure I remember just how lucky I am to be here and just how brave each of us are for getting up in the morning, every single one of us, and striving to answer the questions we have no choice as humans but to ask. Though at times sad and weighed down, I will not conceal that there yet burns inside me a hope that drives me to keep working and to never give up.
I encourage you, Reader, to look inward. I will also be reflecting, learning, and trying to heed the life advice of comedian Martin Lawrence:
“You’ve got to ride this motha$#%&@ till the wheels fall Off.”
Please please please take care of yourself and those around you. Know that I am truly in my element, and despite being able to choose otherwise, would rather be nowhere else.

PEACE (of mind)

Kevin

Ps. Thanks to the music of Lucky Dube, Bob Marley, Wynton Marsalis, Luther Allison, Kirk Franklin, the Beatles, U2, and friend Dan Masterson for inspiration this month.